Sunday, August 21, 2016

So What's Love?

Sometimes I'm 'accused' of promoting a let's-all-just-get-along-and-hold-hands-while-singing-Kumbaya approach to life and loving others. Or I'm told I'm naive because the world is a bad and scary place. (Accused is in quotes, as if wanting to get along is a bad thing. Is it? And Kumbaya is a spiritual song, by the way, "Come by here, Lord." As for naive, take it up with Jesus because his world was painfully real and scary, and his message is nonetheless one of love.)

But at any rate, if you're tired of my (perceived) why-can't-we-all-get-along? musings, then this might be the post for you. This could be the one where different toes are stepped on.

First, kindness, respect, patience and unselfishness when dealing with others is not about how the other person behaves. It's not about approving or disapproving of what anyone does or does not do. That simply is not our job as Christians, as we are told numerous times in the New Testament. In this sense, love is unconditional, non-judgmental. We don't pick and choose who we're willing to love or help based on how they have treated us, on their lifestyle, appearance or other external factors. Jesus didn't teach us to 'sort out the sinners' before offering help and love.

However, there is indeed a crucial shift needed in how we treat others. Unconditional acceptance does not mean we should expect nothing in return for assistance with physical needs. Yes, yes, I see red flags of alarm going up. There are plenty of exceptions. Sometimes people are in no shape to do much of anything to help themselves. A horrible accident. A sudden, catastrophic illness. A house fire or natural disaster. Unconditional help is the correct response in those circumstances. No questions asked. Take care of what needs to be done. When those folks are back on their feet, they'll be the first to help when someone else needs it. That's what neighbors do.

I'm talking about another uncomfortable truth and reality. Part of our collective approach to generosity has created and is continuing to promote generational poverty. Don't jump on government-sponsored social programs here because actually, many such programs have already had some improvements (even though more are needed). This is about us, as members of our respective communities. It is time for churches, civic organizations and others who want to do the right thing to lead the way because a strange irony shows that many who complain about the inefficiency of government programs, often are worse offenders when it comes to providing assistance.

I am in no way suggesting we stop handing out food, school supplies, Christmas presents or other items, but I am suggesting a shift in how we do it. When it comes time for back-to-school fairs, for example, it seems a better approach would be for the community to help the schools directly with needed supplies and let the students -- ALL of the students -- show up on the first day of class with necessary supplies already at school. That way there is no distinction between who is able to buy supplies and who is not and the schools will have exactly what is needed. (Added bonus, teachers would not have to spend so much money out of their own pockets to fill in the gaps.)

Food pantries. Diaper banks. Help with rent or utilities. When churches, organizations and individuals assist with those types of things, something should be given in return by the recipient. Not everyone can do much, but everyone who is able to get to someplace to ask for assistance can do something. To the detriment of the greater good, we've gotten squeamish about even discussing this sort of thing, and right now there are readers who are getting ready with replies that start with something like, "But we can't let kids pay for their parents mistakes..." I agree. It's been something I've said many times and will continue to say. I'm not saying I have the answers. I'm saying it's time to start the conversation.

Children now will be the parents of the next generation. They're learning how to get to by in this world and they'll be teaching their kids to get by in the same way, whatever way it is that they've learned. We need to break the cycle of generational poverty. The good and useful thing is that kids usually already want to help others as a natural impulse. We need to build on their enthusiasm for doing the right thing, not ignore it or squelch it. (The Bridges Program in the West Plains Schools often sees the students they help be good volunteers within the program and that response is encouraged.)

One step in doing this is that it's time to stop thinking in terms of 'us' and 'them.' There is only us. We're all in it together. Those who think of themselves as the 'haves' often think they know best how to help the 'have nots' among us. That's usually nonsense. Unless someone has lived in poverty, they don't know what it's like. We need to start having conversations outside of our own circle of acquaintances, conversations that help us all understand what's needed for change. No program can be truly successful unless all of the stakeholders have a voice.

The problem with taking this new approach is that it's not easy. It takes investing in the lives of those who need help, getting to know one another. It takes more time and effort to work out a way for all to contribute than it does merely to say, "Here's some canned food and a box of macaroni and cheese. See you next month." But I believe it might be easier than we think. It might begin with saying, "We'd like to offer you something to do for others." Ask how they might like to help. Present a list of volunteer jobs available, jobs that would extend out into the community. (The sad reality is that because of income inequality there are some seeking assistance who already have jobs, already are contributing to the community. Helping them move up is also important and requires a different level of investment.)

It would take organization and cooperation among groups, but it could work. No demands, at first, but a gentle persistence that doing something for someone else as a condition for continued assistance will yield results. People who really need help will be more than happy to do something in return. People who are in less need will eventually stop showing up for help, or else they'll continue to show up and work for what they're getting and that's fine, too. The lists of ways to help would grow as time went on, and there are really no limits to what could happen. Actual paying jobs might materialize for some, but a sense of satisfaction, belonging and purpose would eventually emerge and that's when the world changes for good because that's when our communities become better.

Jesus came to include all in his kingdom. In the Book of Luke he announced his public ministry with these words,"The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he has anointed me to bring good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim release to the captives and recovery of sight to the blind, to let the oppressed go free, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor."

If we are to follow in his footsteps, we must be part of eliminating the oppression of poverty. We need a shift in thinking to realize that one aspect of oppression is when not everyone has the opportunity to share the gifts they have been given. Let's help one another shine and live free. I know we can find a way. Let's get along, hold hands and do it. That's the kind of love I'm talking about.

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